"Christmas, Christmas time is here
Time for toys, time for cheer
We've been good but we can't last
Hurry Christmas, hurry fast
Want a plane that loops the loop
Me, I want a hula hoop
We can hardly stand the waitPlease, Christmas, don't be late" - Alvin and the Chipmunks, "Christmas Don't be Late"
Christmas, Christmas time is here, so maybe those little rodents were onto something more than half a century ago. But here's a few Christmas song-themed gifts every team in the land of mid-majors need direly.Time for toys: Missouri State
The Bears are in the midst of a miserable season, standing at 0-10 against Division I foes in non-conference play, two years removed from back-to-back 20-win seasons. Maybe some toys would cushion the fall of what was a talented Missouri Valley Conference team not all that long ago.Time for cheer: Me
Somehow, I've only managed to make it to three college basketball games this season thanks to working nights, which is totally a bummer. I feel bad for letting my Mid-Majority teammates down. But, like every team on this list, there's always conference play to see if that changes.We've been good but we can't last: Stephen F. Austin
The Lumberjacks are listed as 9-1 and have a Red Line Upset in their back pocket with a one-point win over Oklahoma, and their only loss came at Texas A&M. But their record is padded with four non-Division I wins. The same player, Taylor Smith, has led Stephen F. Austin in rebounds in each Division I game and points in all but one. I know it's the Southland and stuff, but that No. 30 RPI (which we all know is flawed, but it's what matters to the NCAA Tournament selection committee) is going to get torpedoed because the Lumberjacks have as many games left against teams with RPIs worse than 300 than games against teams with RPIs better than 200. If they fall more than once in conference play, say goodbye to any chance of an at-large NCAA Tournament bid.Hurry Christmas, hurry fast: Mississippi Valley State, Maryland-Eastern Shore, St. Francis (Pa.) and Grambling
Hopefully Santa puts a win in their stockings, as each team has gone 0-for-the-season thus far. Good news for the Delta Devils and the Tigers is that they play twice this year. But the Red Flash are in trouble - they've only lost by single-digits twice in 10 games. (Then again, Grambling's closest loss was by 22 to the aforementioned Stephen F. Austin. MVSU's was by seven to Cal State Bakersfield. UMES has lost twice by 10.) Want a plane that loops the loop: South Dakota State
The Jackrabbits ended up having to bus halfway across the country after a loss to Nashville.-based Belmont to Albuquerque, where they somehow managed to dispatch the host Lobos for a Red Line Upset. But it would have been a hell of a lot easier had they been able to fly and not gotten their transportation ruined by weather.Me, I want a hula hoop: The SWAC
Four of the five worst-shooting teams from the field are from one of the perpetual bottom-dwelling conferences, one of the most impoverished and one with a bigger focus on its football teams. So if we replaced their hoops with hula hoops, well, they'd shoot better from the field.We can hardly stand the wait: Cal State Bakersfield, Chicago State, Houston Baptist, Texas-Pan American and Utah Valley
These five teams, long mired in the fruitless land of Division I independence (for the Broncs of UTPA, since 1997-98, if you don't count the bid-less Great West), will all help to keep the WAC alive, at least for another year, in a deal that certainly has all the institutions excited. The only hitch is that they have to wait for next season before they move.
Please, Christmas, don't be late for any of these schools.