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Holiday Jungle Hats For Sale!
November 30, 2012 9:12 am ET by Craig Hanford

Oh, the weather up North is becoming frightful! And, as Mama used to say, most of your body heat escapes from your head. Fight off the effects of Old Man Winter with a gift from the Capital City of Hoops Nation - an IUPUI Adidas Knit Hat, With Tassels.



This colorful and stylish hat has long been commonly seen on safaris through the IUPUI Jungle, but it is now available throughout the rest of the Midwest and beyond. Being 100% acrylic, this knit hat fits snugly to the scalp, but lacks the itchiness of its wooly counterparts, leading to maximum comfort for its wearer. As one who has fought through some harsh winds while walking into a Summit League (or Badlands Conference, if you prefer) gymnasium, I know how important the combination of warmth and comfort can be in a hat.

Please take note that this hat is suitable for those who read in the traditional English style, but is also perfect for those "hard-to-buy-for" Hebrew, Farsi, or Urdu readers on your gift-giving list. Good luck finding other multi-lettered garments that can make that claim. Yes, whether your loved one reads from left to right, or from right to left, this gift clearly celebrates The Indiana University - Purdue University of Indianapolis!

Don't overlook the embroidered logo classically stitched on toward the bottom of the hat! Who on your list would not enjoy a Jaguar this Christmas? If you're not sure, just ask them. I'm certain they'll be quite excited by the prospect!

Now, I hear what you're saying. "Craig, there's no doubt that this is a damn fine looking hat. But what's with the tassels?" Ordinarily, I'd have to agree that the tassel is a useless feature - but not with this hat. Add a couple of pieces of scotch tape (tape sold separately) to the tassels, and the versatility of this hat increases exponentially!

Let's say you need to buy a gift for a basketball fan from the Hoosier State who lacks the strength of character of our fellow TMM members and follows a team above the Red Line. Simply tape one tassel over the "P" and the other over the "UI", and you have a nice gift for some of those fans. Or, tape one tassel over the "IU" and the over the "UI", and you can check several other such fans off of your shopping list. Please note that this latter technique also works well for fans of 25% of the Ivy League schools!

But that's not all! Let's say you have the unpleasant task for having to shop for the egomaniac on your list. Where do you find the right gift to reflect the particular pomposity of his or her personality? Well, you find that "right gift" right here with this hat! Tape one tassel over the "IU" and the other over the "PU", and you have a hat appropriate to sit atop the most swelled of heads.

Friends, don't delay in picking up an IUPUI Adidas Knit Hat today, available for just $17.98 through the link below. Or, for those of you planning an upcoming getaway to the CPIA, supplies are currently in stock at the Campus Bookstore just a few miles to the East.


Act now!