Olde Tyme Basket-Ball

Game 018: at Temple 48, Princeton 46
Monday, December 20, 2004
Liacouras Center - Philadelphia, PA

Hoop-endous!

Specta-basket-acular!

Huzzah, huzzah! Hoop, whoop, hooray!

These are but a few of the reactions and recollections that come to this reporter's mind when he thinks about this past evening's basket-ball contest between the Tigers of Princeton and the Owls of Temple! These are two hooping powers that had not met in battle for thirty years! And yes, "Ace" Whelliston was Johnny-On-The-Spot for this intense hardwood match for the ages... and the ageless!

The grand olde city of Philadelphia hadn't seen this much excitement since the signing of the Constitution! The city may be known to some as the cradle of liberty, but tonight the only cradle to be found was a peach basket! And that cradle was being filled over and over again by leather basket-balls!

Oh boy, this was a high-numbered affair to be sure! The Princeton boys tallied 46 points, but it was not enough to overcome the upstart Temple cagers and their 48! This reporter believes the scoreboard avalanche can be traced to a quaint experiment conducted by the official crew. Above each basket hung an electric "shot clock," which would trigger a loud buzzer after each thirty-five seconds and the other team would regain possession of the basket-ball. This reporter is convinced that this newfangled invention will never fly! The kids played in a very nervous fashion, and it was all because of this darn "shot clock!"

(This reporter also wishes to register his displeasure with the glass backboards in use for this contest. They make better windows than doors if you catch his drift, Jack!)

It was so good to see the Princeton five playing solid, fundamental basket-ball. Two-handed set shots, patient offense, hands up on defense. And whoa nelly, what defense! It spread out over the floor, like a fearsome starfish! The Temple offense was swallowed up, just like they were swallowed by a... a... fearsome starfish!

Temple

But one young buck in particular who went by the moniker of Mardy Collins was up to the task! This reporter was stunned and amazed by his hardwood heroics! Twenty-five points were his alone! He was jumping in the air at such remarkable height, it was as if there was an invisible court above the actual one, that only he was able to walk upon! But there wasn't!

The Temple team twirled a defensive masterpiece as well! Using their patented "matching zone" defense, they confounded and befuddled the Princetonians to the point of befuddlement! The Tiger-men tried to puncture and penetrate this confusing maze-mystery! And many times, they could not!

The final moment of the basket-ball match was something to see! It will be discussed and debated for decades to come! If this reporter has the good fortune to be alive in the year nineteen and eighty-five, he will relate the story to his grandchildren, who will grow up to follow in his large journalistic footsteps! With the Temples leading by two points and time slipping away, young master William Venable of the Princetons let loose a furious shot! And it was blocked! Blocked! Dustin Salisbery was the hero for the Owl team! Huzzah!

And in closing, if you'll kindly indulge me with a few choice Ace Observations...

Tip o' the fedora to John Chaney, the Temple skipper who was steering the good ship S. S. Owl for his 1,000th game tonight. This reporter fondly and vaguely remembers his first game, back in the mid-Twenties. Congrats, coach!

Mention must be made of the half-time entertainments. It was quite the scandal! A bevy of young lovelies slithered about on the court in a tantalizing leg show routine that was as modest as the gauzy wisps of clothing they wore! Busby Berkeley this was most definitely not! Where are their mothers, this reporter asks? Would they approve of such a titillating public display? At that hour of the night? This reporter thinks not!

There was music, too, emanating from an invisible Victrola of enormous size! It was a toe-tapping little number performed by young Negroes, but this reporter cannot seem to recall it from the Hit Parade! "Wrapper's Delight," was it? Delightful indeed!

The Princeton boys each had Old Glory sewn on their black playing-shirts, and it made for one proud and patriotic reporter! But he was dismayed to walk the concourses after the game and not find a place to buy war bonds. There's a war on, people!

This reporter has been privately notified that Georgetown has quite the team this year too. So until next time, this is "Ace" Whelliston bringing the exciting world of basket-ball to you! Signing off!

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